Resolutions, looking back, and paying it forward

Tonight I sit here thinking about how far my life has come in one year. I am amazed and blown away! Last year I spent New Year's day crying and debating if teaching was the right thing for me. I had fought the hardest battle of my professional career. I had my professional judgement questioned, had teachers in my building turn their backs on me, and I meet with the deputy superintendent (our district is HUGE by the way). I had been fighting to have a child placed into a learning environment where she could be successful. At every turn, the person who could have made my life easier stabbed me in the back. (Or at the very least opposed me in my assessments.) I had considered this person a friend, so I was shocked at the lengths I had to go to do what was right. I spent last spring trying to find my passion for teaching again, and I found it in moments at a time. I found that passion in my teaching partner. I found it in the faces of the children who needed me. And by the end of the year, I knew that I had to change schools if given the chance. It was one of the hardest moments in my life. I shed many tears over it. And at the end of August I moved. I love being back at the school that my room had been cut from three years ago- and having 3 years over several new hires insures that I am no longer the one who will be cut!

I wish I could say that I am in paradise, but I knew coming back that the school was not perfect. (and it's not...) There are good days and bad days. I miss my old partner just about every minute of every day! And I have wondered if I messed up a good thing by moving. I know that she has been given opportunities that would not have happened if I had been there (seniority wise), and she has grown SO much in her professional life. I love that we are also very close friends and that we do get together a lot, but it's not the same as running across the hall. I feel like I have been lost this fall... almost adrift. I feel that there is WAY more competition going on among teachers, rather than sharing and support. It's weird and very difficult to be around. Honestly, I holed up in my room... stuck my head under a rock and hoped it might get better. I don't want to make waves my first year back but I am not happy this way. So I guess that you guys... my bloggy friends get the benefit!

I have decided to use the month of January to share a book that I have been reading. In early December I attended the Arkansas Kindergarten Confference and listened to the wonderful Cindy Middendorf!! She knocked my socks off!! The last session on the last day was about differentiation in kindergarten. I was so tired but I wanted to be there more than anything... see Cindy inspired me. She pulled me out of my hole and without knowing it challenged me to be more than I was being. AH thank you Cindy!! The month of December flew by and I knew that over the break I was going to read her book. It's really a quick read, and not long either- 5 chapters. I plan to post quotes and my thoughts on the chapters each Friday in January. I hope that you join in, or at least gain something from what I am sharing. Here is my schedule for posting: